Thursday, July 26, 2007

BSNYC Absentee Reader-Share of the Day #1

Sick to death of the sun-softened New York City streets, I am leaving town and taking an undeserved yet long-awaited vacation as of today. Until August 6th, people will be free to wantonly post their bicycles to internet galleries unmolested. (By me anyway.)

One thing that has been both a blessing and a curse so far is the assortment of hideous bicycles that people have been emailing me. I'm grateful that they are compelled to share, though many of these bikes haunt my sleep.

During my vacation, I'll post some of the more baffling and disturbing of these bicycles. I'll spare you the descriptions and include only the photo for you to contemplate, and a link where applicable. A number of them are from eBay. (Sadly, I think all the auctions have ended.) All of them speak for themselves.

Here's the first, more to come while I'm gone. (I'm not kind enough to spare you completely.) Thanks for reading everybody, and thanks those of you who have emailed bikes. I'll resume full updates when I get back.

--BSNYC




35 comments:

Anonymous said...

A brake lever on the top tube? Doesn't he know it belongs on the seat post!?! Geez, what a dumb@$$.....

Shane said...

I have some sick in my mouth.

Art said...

"Front brake on rear custom fitting."
Does he mean cutting the mounting bolt down, or did he actually need to machine a special brake hanger in order to put the wrong size wheel on the bike?

Anonymous said...

Art,
looks as though he meant he cut down the bolt. The 27" wheel on the front is the wheel that's the wrong size. Those old Huffys took 26 x 1-3/8" wheels with looong reach brakes, allowing for such fancy customizing.

Anonymous said...

Plastic disk? Check.
Kickstand? Check.
No front brakes? Check.
Bizarro handlebars? Check.
Inaccessable rear brake lever? Check.
Poorly installed front tube? Check.
Different sized wheels? Check.

Anonymous said...

i smell puke on my hand from earlier .............

Anonymous said...

1. Assemble random parts, no need to make sure they fit together or that you have all that you need.
2. Insert parts into tumble drier. Turn on drier (Permanent Press)
3. Remove retarded looking bicycle that will make it look like you are grabbing your pecker everytime you brake.

Anonymous said...

when things get going a little too fast just reach down between your legs and give it a squezzz.

dave said...

Perhaps the gentleman who submitted this bike is homeless, did you consider that? As far as homeless peoples bike go this one's damn fine.

Anonymous said...

that's pretty much the best bike ever

Anonymous said...

Huffy's are the shit!! I need to get rid of my italian POS and get some quality american Huffy classic rides like this fine one posted. If I ever see this ride on the street, I'm stealing it!

Anonymous said...

Who here has never been at that imatture period in their bicycleness to think it would be awesome to install an E-brake style lever on their top tube? For the record, it is not the brake that stops you but the asphalt. If you want to know what it is really like there is no need to waste time installing a fancy brake. Just ride down a hill really fast with one hand on the bars and slam on the brake. Its fun, really, I got a phone call from hospital debt collectors this morning.

Philip Williamson said...

This fella's a repeat offender.
http://www.cyclofiend.com/cc/2007/cc330-robertlong0607.html

My mouth literally fell open and stayed that way until I'd really digested the extent of his... what? Why has English no word for someone who will DO that?

Anonymous said...

Dave 4:44
You mean one of those homeless guys with a digital camera and a computer?

Anonymous said...

i feel violated.

quaffimodo said...

The horror.........

Fritz said...

I literally laughed out loud as I looked at the details on this... bike? What a find.

Anonymous said...

aaaahahahahahahah - I literally can't stop laughing at this bike - And a Huffy to boot! Hahahahahahahah.....

Dave said...

1) I almost want to buy it bc its so fucking retarded
2) I didn't realize how quickly i would get addicted to BSNYC, I need some methadone for this shit

F said...

I miss the Snob already. How can he start this blog and then go on vacation?

Anonymous said...

what will we ever do with out you, snobby?
i cant make it on my own.

Anonymous said...

That "bike" is an abomination before god. I hope it burns in hell.

Enjoy your vacation Snobby - we'll miss your rants. The pics should be interesting though...

Anonymous said...

Ach, scheisse! my recent submission to the ffg was a deliberate attempt to elicit your mockery. if only you understood the lengths I have gone to for you to simply say you have taken leave for reasons of health! Nay, good sirrah, mark that I will have my moment in due time!

Anonymous said...

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=324748
http://home.swbell.net/hebert11/fetish_fixie_001.jpg

sigh

Anonymous said...

The bike is fucking hilarious, but even funnier (sadder) is that he posed it, took pictures (yes, more than one), downloaded them to his computer and then posted them to the uhh...internets. Is he proud of this creation? I don't get it...

Anonymous said...

anonymous @ 1.40 am:

the fetish cycle (http://home.swbell.net/hebert11/fetish_fixie_001.jpg
)
looks like it could have been bought at hot topic.

Grey said...

the shocking thing is how well thought out it is--the bar tape matching the seat. i'm a little disappointed there's no reflector on the front wheel.

with that ridiculous saddle position the bike looks like some crazy pursuit or time trial bike for someone who either has an extraordinarily short torso or perhaps has no forearms--those bars look to be in the perfect position for someone whose hands are at their elbows...

Matt said...

Truly, those who have commented here have missed the fashion, joy, and bicycling spirit embodied by the reflectors installed on this bicycle. My eyes tear with emotion.....

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Anonymous said...

I know its four years later, but...

I once did the toptube brake lever idea. It didnt stay there long.
I still feel ashamed.

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