Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cheese Up, Blows Down: Self-Expression and Self-Defense

Ever since last Friday's post, a large number of readers have posted derogatory comments about tattoos and the people who wear them. (Or, more likely, one reader has posted a large number of comments.) This is unfortunate. It is as wrong to judge people by the designs they have placed under their skin as it is to judge them by the very color of their skin--even if those designs feature a Loony Tunes character leering at a nude woman and an unfortunate misspelling. I also can't help but think that some of these tattoo-haters would change their opinions if they were exposed to some really excellent tattoos. Like these:



One of the things that upsets people about tattoos is that they wrongly think the wearer is trying to appear tough. That is not always the case, as you can see here. There's nothing tough about a triple road crank--you might as well just get a tattoo of a walker. Then again, I did count the teeth on those chainrings and came up with some interesting results. It's difficult to be sure since you can't see all the teeth clearly, but I think that's a 36-tooth granny ring and a 56-tooth big ring. Maybe this is a statement of toughness after all. That would mean this isn't so much a regular road crank with a bailout gear as it is a regular compact with an extra-large big ring for some serious gear-mashing on the flats. This is quite macho, but not exactly a great way to work on your souplesse. Coach Brinton would be appalled.


This tattoo of an exploded front hub diagram is another example of a bicycle-related tattoo clearly not intended to convey toughness. It's simply a handy reference. If you've found yourself running to your computer or rummaging through your instruction manuals during seasonal overhauls, you know that it can be tremendously inconvenient. This way you don't have to interrupt what you're doing--especially if you tend to work shirtless. I'm actually planning a really sweet back piece for the same reason. It's the installation instructions for a set of Planet Bike fenders:


Since it will be on my back, I'm going to reverse it so I can read it in the mirror:


Not only do I work shirtless, but I also work under a mirrored ceiling.



This one's not bike-related at all, but it is inspiring. I actually thought it was a prison job until I read the bit about how the wearer actually sought out the font. I was also interested to learn that a knuckle tattoo consisting of two lines of text is called a "double decker." But my favorite thing about it is that each hand also makes sense individually. The right hand says "Hope Roma," which probably means she's a fan of the Roma Football Club and hopes they win, and the left hand says "Less Ntic," which is clearly an abbreviation for "Less Antics." In other words, she's not going to stand for any more foolishness from anybody. Lastly, the "toxic love" digit serves as a warning to any potential partners that a condom is definitely in order.

But while I was impressed by all of these tattoos, the fact is that yesterday I saw a bicycle that impressed me more than a thousand knuckle tattoos on 8,000 knuckles. (Or 1,000 double decker knuckle tattoos on 4,000 knuckles. Or 1,000 smiling knuckles.) It is my pleasure to present to you the Finlandia Swiss Cheese Bike:



I had no idea Finlandia were about to "drop" a bike, but they've clearly done so with a resounding thud. It's the cheese-themed bike sure to be smelled around the world. As you can see, all the components are Finlandia too: the saddle; the stem; the bars; and even the hubs:


This is one of the few bicycles on which I actually support pie plate use. Note that the wheel uses Finlandia spokes, which are no doubt proprietary and difficult to find. Even if the chance of the Finlandia derailleur finding its way into the spokes is extremely remote due to its inherent Swiss precision, it's still not a chance worth taking. Nor would you want to incur any damage that might necessitate replacement of that sweet Finlandia rear derailleur cable housing.

As pleased as I was to see the Finlandia bike, I was also dismayed that it was locked so poorly. I was also surprised this morning to find that bike polo players apparently leave their mallets unattended:



It's tempting to think that you don't need to bring your polo mallets inside with you, since: 1) Who really wants a bike polo mallet anyway?; and 2) If someone does want a bike polo mallet, they're going to show up to use it at the same game as the person they stole it from and get fingered almost immediately. (Possibly by the "toxic love" finger to boot--and without a finger cot.) Still, though, it's risky. Firstly, people will steal absolutely anything. Someone might actually steal it so that he can use it to smash a car window in order to steal something else actually worth having. Secondly, one of the grade-schoolers who got bullied off the playground by the 20- and 30-something polo players might snag the mallets for revenge and start a vicious game of "keep-away." So if you see some kid getting chased by a bunch of graphic designers on fixed-gears, you know what happened.

Indeed, it's a dangerous world out there. So dangerous that some cyclists feel the need to carry weapons. I was surprised to learn from a reader recently that high-end online retailer Competitive Cyclist is actually selling weapons.

You may or may not be in the market for a $2,995 BMC Team Machine frameset. Either way you've got to admit that, in a world of poorly-written bicycle catalog copy, Competitive Cyclist stands apart, if only because it's probably the only retailer on whose site you're likely to find a reference to Bill Evans. Compare that to, say, the Secret Website, where you'll find copy like this:

Don't let this one get away! From "The Bike" a name that embodies the principals of this bike - comes the Fixie. The Fixie has a 6061 aluminum frame with a chromoly fork and 48x16 gearing. Promax front and rear brakes are perfect for those who havent perfected their skid yet. 700c alloy aero rims built with 32 14g spokes give you a bombproof wheelset to handle anything the urban jungle can throw at you. Weight: 22lbs.

I'll forgive them for the lack of apostrophes since everybody knows the Secret Website buys discount keyboards that don't have them. (Apostrophe keys are a luxury, not a necessity.) However, not all the apostrophes in the world could impart sense on a sentence like: "From 'The Bike' a name that embodies the principals of this bike-comes the Fixie." What does that even mean?

At any rate, I was simultaneously amused and frightened by the way in which Competitive Cyclist also employed its florid prose to sell pepper spray, since underneath it were some scary sentiments. For example:

I would love nothing more than to visit the home of Competitive Cyclist, where I imagine we could put on Bill Evans's "Portrait in Jazz," sip some wine, and then pop off a few rounds. However, I'm also deathly afraid of someone who is "comfortable with the idea of pointing a gun at an unwelcome human inside our home." Don't get me wrong--if someone breaks into your house you've got every right to point whatever you want at them, whether it's a gun, or a knife, or a blowdryer set to "high," or even a moldy zucchini. No, what freaks me out is the "comfortable" part. To me, that doesn't imply self-defense; it implies a sneer and an "I've been waiting for this." Moreover, who's to say what "unwelcome" means? Trust me, if you have me over I can wear out my welcome pretty quick. I'd hate to step out of the bathroom after urinating without botherering to pick the up the toilet seat only to find a muzzle in my face. (Though a blast of pepper spray might be warranted.) Also:

I have to say, I never expected to read the phrase "they know lethality" on a bicycle mail order site. This makes me suspect that there's a secret section of the Competitive Cyclist site where paranoid militiamen can outfit themselves with weapons for the coming race war. Plus, I know they say it won't discharge accidentally, but what if you're on a group ride, reach into your jersey thinking it's goo, and blast yourself in the face with it? You can do pretty stupid things when you're anaerobic. Or what if you get a flat and mistake it for a CO2?

Then again, when someone tries to jack you for your Finlandia bike it can pay to be prepared. And pepper does go well with cheese.

128 comments:

ant1 said...

ant1st!

Morgan said...

AYHSMBBB (BBB=bottom bracket boom suckahz!)

ant1 said...

damn it feels good to be number 1

Anonymous said...

Dude, you are on fire lately.

Timex said...

the date is wrong on this . . . .

Anonymous said...

Woot! Woot!

Matt! said...

base miles.

ryan said...

top 10!!!!

Anonymous said...

top ten!

Tex said...

"It is as wrong to judge people by the designs they have placed under their skin as it is to judge them by the very color of their skin--even if those designs feature a Loony Tunes character leering at a nude woman and an unfortunate misspelling."

Bullshit.

Bill said...

freaks me out when ant1 really is ant1st.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Top ten?

Gnarles Darwin said...

lucky 13

Digger O'Dell said...

Skin art. .. . There's going to be some really silly open casket funerals in the future.

Anonymous said...

herrera

Anonymous said...

Guess what I just did?

ATEA GRPE

leroy said...

Frilly -- when BSNYC suggested that triples aren't tough and a tattoo of a triple is tantamount to a tattoo of a walker, he meant "Walker" as in "Walker, Texas Ranger."

Do not worry. Your new bike is plenty tough.

One of my road bikes is a triple.

I've had to put streamers on the handle bars so as not to scare people.

And even then, I still draw apprehensive looks.

(BTW - get a cat's eye if for no other reason than to keep track of the miles you put in. And paying attention to cadence is easy and really does make a difference on a long ride.)

Awesome Sound said...

Isn't Roma the proper name for the gypsies? Perhaps the knuckle-tatter is just expressing positive thoughts for the plight of the gypsies?

Gypsies remind me of the flea market scene in Mallrats featuring the third nipple.

innerlighter said...

There was a tattoo? I guess I missed it, as I was too taken aback by the Drop-Ins with the foam-looking grip-stuff. I bet he saw the bike on Craigslist and was enamored by the description including, "vintage, Scott Drop-In handlebars".


meh.

Anonymous said...

If that guy gets a flat on the Finlandia bike, has he then cut the cheese?

Anonymous said...

If that guy gets a flat on the Finlandia bike, has he then cut the cheese?

ant1 said...

Bill - I would agree. It (the ant1st! comment) loses its retardedness up there. It's almost like it belongs, which is just wrong. However, the spoils of victory I have no problem with. Maybe I should come up with a different comment for unironic first places.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how the "uncomplicated outcome"
looks like you apparently get after pepperspraying some car-driving asshole
that cut you off at an intersection.

wishiwasmerckx said...

Snob, to quote Jeff Foxworthy, if you work without a shirt on, and so does your wife... you may be a redneck.

Jim said...

I'm also deathly afraid of someone who is "comfortable with the idea of pointing a gun at an unwelcome human inside our home."

Just three thoughts about that.

1) You've obviously never had Drunk Greg Lemond over at your house for a "Just Win Lance" party during the Alpe d'Huez stage; and,

2) It's a sad day in this country when a man is uncomfortable using his bare hands to mount a counterassault on a motorist, and instead needs to rely on something that should probably be left on the kitchen shelf next to the chili powder and the saffron. Worst thing can happen is you get your ass kicked. It's not fun but it's generally not the end of the world either. You'd better be good with that pepper spray, BTW. Non-lethal weapons aren't as scary as lethal ones, and if I was an enraged motorist and you used that on me and missed, I'd be thinking about helping you find a new place to stash it, other than your jersey pocket or under-the-seat bag.

3. Other defense items not suitable for carrying on a bike ride:

- Elephant guns
- Anti-tank mines
- Tanks
- Torpedoes
- Lasers.

carlos said...

who needs to read this crap when all you have to do is scroll down and leave a comment. that's whats really important here.

RMM said...

RTMS, thanks for bringing my attention to this wonderful spray. Now I can leave that heavy firearm at home.

Anonymous said...

Competitive Cyclist's note about carrying a gun while riding might be truer than they know--an Oregon state senator was shot last summer while repairing a friend's bicycle when a loaded gun in the saddle bag went off:

http://www.oregonlive.com/politics/index.ssf/2008/08/atkinson_details_accidental_sh.html

But his wife saved him by making a tourniquet from an inner tube...Does that make her as tough as the guy with the tattoo of a triple?

Bill said...

no, no, i wasn't suggesting that ant, can't go messin with perfection, especially now that you are sipping champagne and holding those damned stuffed animals on the podium

Awesome Sound said...

These guys probably don't carry pepper spray.

GenghisKhan said...

I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that the Finlandia thing was some kind of viral marketing effort perpetrating by roving groups of Finlandia employees. Point is, it could happen to anyone leaving their crap on the streets, whether it be a bike, car, small child or portable tattoo shop specializing in bike related tats. Be safe out there.

As to guns being too heavy, c'mon. Everyone know that the Smith and Wesson 340 airlite specs at under 14 ounces and pops off some nice .357 magnum rounds--better 'n' pepper spray any day! (I think that may be the tagline for that gun...).

leroy said...

Jim --

You forgot Tasers.

Or would that be like skitching if you held onto the weapon after firing?

Slappy said...

I see nothing wrong with my handle bar mounted sawed off shotgun.

Jason Pearlman said...

Real cyclists get free chainring tattoos on their right calves all of the time.

Daddo said...

remember when the pepper spray was for dogs?...

hey asshole! get out the car while i tear the safety tab off this pepper spray so I can shoot you with it!

huh? c'mon! get out! awwww!
at least roll down the window!

c'mon you fucker, give me a chance!
hey! don't drive away, I'm trying to mace you over here!

ant1 said...

When night riding, I carry on wooden stake for protection.

GenghisKhan said...

Slappy--just make sure it's gimbal mounted for wide range of motion, but include left/right handlebar stops so as to minimize the chance of hunking out an arm when turning to "correct" an offensive motorist, jogger or recumbent rider. See www.weaponizedcycles.org/handlebargunmounts.html for plans.

ant1 said...

I tried a crabon one, but it wasn't as effective, even though it was slightly lighter.

Anonymous said...

http://thetruthhurts-sunken.blogspot.com/

Uppity Swiss said...

RTMS - I'm guessing that the Finlandia derailleur only has Finnish levels of precision, not Swiss.

leroy said...

BSNYC --

Bike polo players leave their mullets unattended?

Well, of course they do.

Anonymous said...

The Triple is the kind of gearing you'd want on a Tandem. So, likely, the wearer is professing his love for anohter person and the times they've had on their tandem. It's a little something called "love"

Klaessig said...

I googled souplesse and got a horrifically NSFW image result. Please place warnings on words that are NSFW or potentially could be.

Andrew Karre said...

You missed the best part about the pepper spray. They've got it categorized under lubricants.

http://www.competitivecyclist.com/za/CCY?PAGE=CATEGORY_VIEW&CATEGORY.ID=52&TFC=TRUE&MODE=

Yikes.

Tattersagger said...

Top less!

Anonymous said...

TOP 50!!!!!

grog said...

Seems to me if you are gonna use a word like mispelled, you are obliged to mizpell it. Same with misteaks.

We lube chain with pepper spray.
We will not be trifled with.

ROAD KING

Twist of Cain ... OH. said...

"So if you see some kid getting chased by a bunch of graphic designers on fixed-gears, you know what happened."

BRILLIANT!!!

And why does the grunge dude's mouth look so much like Danzig's in the "Mother" video. Could it be they are related? Cousins or Glenn's nephew perhaps? Is it just me or am I on to something....

frilly said...

Leroy--with a name like Frilly, delusions of being a badass are not an issue.

roomservicetaco said...

If you're trying to read a diagram printed on your back, wouldn't you need 2 mirrors, thus the tattoo should be applied non-inverted?

kale said...

Ant1-

way to find the only hole in my venn diagram.

CHEQ MATE...

Linda said...

Kale:

Now THAT was freakin' funny. Great diagram.

Anonymous said...

'There are times -- thankfully they're super-rare -- when you must pay dark wages for your lifelong love of cycling. And that's what the Kimber PepperBlaster is all about.'

Dark wages indeed.

red neckerson said...

if you gots a mullet you gets professional curtesy from other rednecks because no one in a pickup truck ever messes with me

and if you dont want no trouble you rides with ricky who dont believe in washing his kit like forever

yeah rednecks wear kits as long as the jersey is single color and dont got no sleeves on it

so anyway wed be in trouble if everbody had car airconditioning but nobody around here does except to old 260 types

i had to think to hard for this post so im drinking me some pbr right now

ant1 said...

Kale - the exception makes the rule.

Anonymous said...

I can think of a particular fast-n-angry group ride where a the most likely discharge of pepperspray would be on some new dude who won't close the gap in a paceline. Much more effective than yelling and doesnt sap your aerobic strength.

bikesgonewild said...

..."ant1 said...

ant1st!"
...

...hmmm...while i do applaud you getting the flowers, stuffed animals & triple cheek kisses (speaking of triples, now that is worthwhile...), this does raise certain doubts about yer holiday peregrinations, ant1...

...you provided a travel itinerary which absolved you of any involvement in the 'jimmy & roz bikenapping' in atlanta, however yer positive podium results (unfortunate turn of phrase there...sorry) of late brings into question that little side trip to amsterdam...

...any medical experts consulted for that persistent (cough, cough) nagging "cough" ???...

...guess i'll chalk up yer strong showing to a case of "que cera, cera"...& btw, can you buy it by the case ???...

...just askin'...

Critical Ass said...

Since CO2 inflators came out, I really do miss my old Zefal pump for dealing with dogs.

Anonymous said...

ant1

Amsterdam... Accountant... hmm..........

bikesgonewild said...

...when red neckerson was a young man, he was informed there were two things he hadda do when "coming of age"...

...one was (pardon my crudity) fuck a cajon bayou woman & the other was to 'rassle a large alligator...

...ol' red comes back from his first excursion, torn up & bloody but w/ a big ol' smile on his face...

..."hot damn" sez red, "now where's that bayou woman i gotta 'rassle ???"...

...hey, hey, easy now, it was ricky that told me...

worm irks said...

That exploded hub is an impressive work of art, though I prefer to look at it from this great distance rather than in the proximity of all that body hair and automotive squalor.

Inspires me to get inked up with an exploded Sturmey Archer diagram.

I'll have to pack on some pounds first.

ant1 said...

The trip to amsterdam was for training advice only.

smovlov said...

Where does the secret website come from?

Anonymous said...

Hold it! I patented using a bike tube as a tourniquet back in the day. Right after an unfortunate, uh, dismount into a pile of jagged rocks.

Strayhorn said...

Kimber is selling pepper spray? I'm as shocked as I was when I found out that Dillon was making mini-guns.

Anyway, carrying a firearm on a ride is foolish. You sweat and pose a rust threat to the firearm. So you put the Walther back in the safe and buy something cheap from Carlos down at the bodega. And that turns out to use a cartridge not available in this country.

Then you go to Uncle Mike's Bait, Guns and Liquor out on Hwy. 61. They have some of those cool new handguns made of polymers but you feel foolish carrying something made of Tupperware.

Anyway, back to that tattoo of the triple: was that a Campy Race Triple? If so, the tattoo artist needs to make the logo easier to read. After all the only real reason to ride Campy is to show off the logos.

Kirk said...

Actually I think all cyclists should carry weapons while riding sober. This of course leaves me out as I rarely ride sober. Seriously whats with this almost infantile fear of weapons?

Gnarles Darwin said...

"MACE FACE"

bikesgonewild said...

...ya, sure ant1, no harm, no foul...but can you say "pee in zee bottle, s'il vous plait ???"...

-p said...

what's all that foggy crap on the hub tattoo? trying to cover up some ex girlfriend's picture?

FotoByWes said...

That's my triple tattoo. If you want "toughness," then go ride a brevet with randonneurs.

36 teeth for spinning up Middlebury Gap, 54 teeth for breaking 54 mph on the descent.

Boston-Montreal-Boston?
Paris-Brest-Paris?
London-Edinburgh-London?
Twelve hundred kilometers in less than ninety hours?
Now THAT'S tough.

Anonymous said...

huge difference between being born a certain race/creed/color and getting a fucking dumb tattoo that you chose, or had your drunk friends choose for you.

the real fred said...

wes,

your sugino triple tat is ok at best but not too interesting

Anonymous said...

wes, you know what is tough?

sailors from WWII
meth deliverin' biker gangs
prisoners/inmates

maybe leave the tattoos to them

nyhc said...

bsnyc,

is it true that guy who paid to go into outer space is developing an air conditioning system for his bicycle?

Anonymous said...

malaise forever:


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/48/JimmyCarteronBicycle.jpg/317px-JimmyCarteronBicycle.jpg


courtesy nipple works blog....

Lucky 7 said...

Bow to Jack Endino, slow runner.


A

Commiecanuk said...

FotoByWes...

MEH.


I used to ride that to school every day, in the snow. Triples is for woosies. Back then we had one gear, 56X11, and our pedals had small spikes that poked through our shoes. It was also fashionable to have our parents soak our shoes in alcohol and iodine.
And we had to ride home for lunch and back, and if we were late, we were beaten with a Campy chain whip.

Randonneurs today have it soft.

I have a tattoo on my penis of an integrated seat post.

ant1 said...

Commie - "I have a tattoo on my penis of an integrated seat post."

Priceless

Strayhorn said...

Commiecanuk said: I have a tattoo on my penis of an integrated seat post.

That works. "Trek" when you are at rest and "The Great Trek Bicycle Making Company" when it's angry.

Josh Nadas said...

Don't take my guns bikesnob! the second amendment is a "use it before you loose it" thing. Did I mention that my favorite Clint Eastwood movie is hang em high?

bikesgonewild said...

...Commie - "I have a tattoo on my penis of an integrated seat post."...

...the other option was a working 'suspension seatpost' tat, i'd guess...

Brother H. said...

I can finally quote from the delightful Henry Rollins spoken word piece "Delicate Tendrils," which can be found on Les Claypool and the Holy Mackerel's "Highball with the Devil" album (which I recommend, highly):

Hang spent bullet casings from fishing line outside all the windows of your house.
Put up signs.
'Please break in:
I would love the opportunity to kill you legally.'

ant1 said...

Primus sucks.

Jim said...

Kirk, I can only speak for myself as a former law enforcement / .mil guy. Weapons don't bug me at all, I think if people defended themselves a bit better fewer d-bags would be drawn to the criminal lifestyle. Yet pepper spray and CS/CN spray (Mace) and tasers carried for personal protection leave me cold. For one thing, because they are (generally) non-lethal they sometimes get used really inappropriately. Yes, when I was 10 I was repeatedly maced by my 8 year-old sister who thought stealing the thing out of mom's purse was cool. For another thing, any time you escalate a physical confrontation, you are taking a gamble hoping to end it. If you raise it from a scary cyclist v. driver shouting/shoving match into pepper spray v. motorist, you are gambling that the guy doesn't get in the car and try to run you over, whip out a tire iron, or grab a pistol from under the seat. I think the late Col. Cooper observed that if you're going to pull a weapon in a fight you'd better be fully prepared to do the other guy in at any time, because if he doesn't retreat he may well do you in. This is a distinct possibility with pepper spray and Mace - you need to have the can pointed in the right direction (don't laugh) and then hit the guy in the face, possibly while he's shaking you by the throat or chasing you. Maybe okay for dogs, but angry motorists?

I laugh and squirm at the Competitive Cyclist' discussion because deciding to carry a weapon of any sort for self-defense has a lot of externalities. I totally support people who make that decision but the discussion is way off kilter, like it's a romantic decision akin to doing hill repeats in the Alps in early spring or something. There's a strong whiff of over-eager-mall-security-guard-with-a-.357 in that ad copy.

Overeagermallsecurityguard said...

.38 special my friend, .38 special--now move along unless your're prepared to by that sidewalk sale Gap polo shirt for 20% off...

J said...

Competitive Cyclist is headquartered in my city (Little Rock, AR). Based on the way those dudes bully little kids and grandmas on the local multipurpose trail, I'm not surprised they're packing.

kale said...

...Rollin' down the street, smokin' indo, sippin' on GU 2O. Laid back... with my mind on my money, and my money on my mind.

BGW 4:59-

-That's if it's vertically compliant... you don't want a Softride...

E4TW said...

I wear one of these in a discreet elastic "belly-band" when I go out on long rides:

http://www.kel-tec-cnc.com/p3at.htm

Just a hair over 11 ounces, loaded. It's better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

innerlighter said...

skin yard's math has me a bit confused. I'm pretty sure 100 hands would have 1,400 knuckles.

So is it that all those hands have had the fingers cut off before the last knuckle?

Or maybe there are only 10 "smiling knuckles" on each hand...

...and 4 nonplussed knuckles?



meh.

Gaudy Olde Testy said...

Is there a market in the Ozarks for handgun cages that mount to down tube bosses?

Matt said...

I've found that a sword is genuinely effective for clearing unwelcome strangers from one's home. Everyone's got a gun, but only a truly crazy f*cker is gonna come at you with a katana. And yes, I speak from experience . . .

Andy Pandy said...

Frills , I have been hanging out on the side of the road in Adelaide Hills with my Chlamydia riddled eucalyptus stoned pet koala bear waiting the arrival of LA. Healthy 39 deg C days greeted the training rides

Anonymous said...

When I was a lad a hoop with a stick to push it was our only transportation.

Kelly said...

Im waiting for the La Tur cheese bike. Triple cream instead of a triple crank. Neither vertical compliant nor laterally stiff, but oh so tasty.

Andy Pandy said...

Does Finlandia have plans for a 11speed version??? Cos if so I will wait. It seems logical to me that the cheese industry, who gave us the cheese wheel should vertically integrate into the bike manufacturing industries.And Aerospoke could double as cheese slicers. Awaiting the Trek Cheddar and Specialized Edam models soon.

HBMGG (Handle bar mounted gattling gun) , helps exercise the upper body and biceps

Commiecanuk said...

BGW...o suspension. If it persists for more than four hours, I should see a doctor.

Green River said...

Whoah,

jack endino/skin yard references?!?!

innerlighter said...

Foto by Wes

2007,
88hours, 20min
on 4hrs sleep.

tough, yes...
rainy, yes...

beautiful...vrai!



meh.

Commiecanuk said...

Jim..yo dawg..I roll with a fully loaded Slimline Executive, ...ma Slimmy, ...just in case, noImsayin'...and safety off, but that's how we roll in da Canajun 'hood,,public enema numba one.

Anonymous said...

Buy now... and be happy

leroy No no... the AT-AT Walker

Lucky 7 said...

Century 1st!!


A

Anonymous said...

I hate to be divisive, but that tattoo blows! in fact, it blows donkey dick. The first thing that guy will be asked is why he forgot to wash the back of his leg. What a moron!

bikesgonewild said...

...kale & commiecanuk...

...after 3 hours of serious road riding on the mountain today, i'm vertically complacent...

...i suspend my post...

kool keith said...

is he weird?

efil4dettat said...

SUCK DICK

readmyknucks said...

LICK NUTS

frilly said...

AP, just curious where did things go awry with the bear?

Balmy -8c here tonight. Toasty, n'est-ce pas.

general public said...

SHIT BLOG

n'cet a merde said...

FRILLY ASS

Anonymous said...

that pepper spray thing just brings up my roadie hate. Some editorial twat on his (its got to be a guy) laptop in the cafe fantasizing about being 'comfortable' with his weapon against the worlds assholes. makes me want to see his wilierraphaassospowermetered emptiness ground up beneath a garbage truck and i ride a cervelo with spd's. But at least they can't ship it to nyc

Anonymous said...

Hey, thanks to whomever for the KKK bike brigade link, you dickbag.

bikesgonewild said...

...wow...seem to be bouncing back after the post-ride daze...

...commiecanuk...damn, if it lasts more than four hours, forget the doctor...call up all yer lady riding buddies & say "hey, guess what's up & i mean seriously up...wanna ride ???"...

...just suggestin'...

Anonymous said...

"It's a sad day in this country when a man is uncomfortable using his bare hands to mount a counterassault on a motorist... Worst thing can happen is you get your ass kicked."

I can think of several worse things that could happen if an enraged human in a 2 ton steel projectile decided to assault a cyclist. ;)

-DR

Ronsonic said...

From the Competitive Cyclist site, "We wish there were a form of biathlon that incorporated bikes instead of skis."

So do I and mountain biking and living in Florida as I do, I have the perfect suggestion. High power handgun, a mountain bike and whoever brings down the most tonnage of wild / feral pig in one day wins. As do we all. There is nothing better than removing those monsters of misbreeding from the earth. And what better way to practice your shooting while getting a ride in.

Nick said...

The hopeless romantic could have cleaned his gross fingernails before snapping the pic. So filthy.

kale said...

Ronsonic-

As long as there are no run-ups I'm all in.

...New Jersey Luau to follow events.

These are going on my TCR Advanced flatbar project.

Anonymous said...

red neckerson spotted!!!!

allez1961 said...

Re: The Finlandia bike. The bigger question here is how the owner came up with all those labels. Does he love the cheese? Does he collect the labels from his friends who love the cheese? Is he being ironic? Maybe he hates the cheese and he is showing his contempt for both the cheese and hipsters at the same time. Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

I made the mistake of checking the Finlandia web site and they seem a bit overly concerned with white graphics and purity. And they have a tough entrance exam to pass before you view their site.

And they were really into drinking vodka and no mention of cheese.

BSNYC, please get the ESGE/SKS fender installation diagram tattoo instead.

Instead of a mud flap, you get a spoiler! Much faster.

Arturo Clothing said...

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boners said...

The bummer part about the road triple tattoo is that it appears to be either a Shimano "whatever" or a Campagnolo "Champ" or "T" (very inspiring). While we're dealing with obsolete bottom bracket systems that have been left behind by the MegaGigaHollowExoTechPipe, how about an Avocet triple crank, half-step with granny? I dare you to find a bottom bracket spindle with the taper to fit it (hint: Ofmega double with two freewheel spacers behind the fixed cup, greased with hope), but it looks cool. I'm on my way to the tattoo parlor right now...

Pepper said...

CAPS ICUM

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