Monday, September 23, 2013

Bicycles And The Riding Of Them

Death!

Mayhem!

Injustice!

Interbike!

All of these awful things happened while I was away, but I don't want to talk about them.


Actually, ostriches don't really do that, so perhaps this is a better visual metaphor:


Or maybe an ostrich with its head up someone's ass would be the perfect marriage of the two, but I don't have the time or the graphic imaging skills, or the means and animal husbanding abilities to set up the actual shot.

The point is, I don't want to talk about bad stuff.  I want to talk about bicycling and the cycling of bicycling cycles for recreational purposes in pleasant surroundings, which is what I did while I was away:


This is not to say I took a bicycle cycling vacation per se.  Rather, I took a family trip that happened to offer the opportunity to do some top-notch bicycle cycling while I was there.  In fact, I'm not sure I'd even want to take a dedicated bicycle cycling vacation.  Firstly, I don't need to spend every waking moment marinating in my own chamois and talking about nothing but bikes with a bunch of other like-minded and similarly frumunda-addled idiots.  A few hours at a time is more than enough.  Secondly, I like stuff to be easy.  I don't want to schlep a bunch of crap in panniers and sleep in strange beds or, even worse, in a tent like some Bedouin.  (No offense to the Bedouin, it's just that I'm emphatically not one.)

No, when I travel with a bike I like places where it's hard to get lost, and where in the unlikely event that I do still manage to get lost I can just pick a direction at random and be sure that within a half hour I'm going to run into either a bike shop or a café or a Montessori school or a Buddhist retreat or possibly an establishment that is all four of those things combined.

By now you've probably figured out where I was, but if you haven't I'm still not going to tell you.  All I'll say is that I was (at least technically) in the United States, in a coastal state, reassuringly close to an actual city, and at the foot of a highly gentrified mountain whose name I won't reveal but which I'll heretofore refer to as "Mount Tampon."

(At no point did I do this, because that's not how I vacation.)

Here's why I like Mount Tampon:

--It's nice-looking
--It has lots of fire roads and you can buy a cartoonishly simple map of them at the local bike shop
--These fire roads are well-marked and virtually idiot-proof
--With just a cyclocross-style bicycle you can have a mixed-terrain adventure with lots of climbing and beautiful vistas and still be back by lunch
--The scariest thing you will encounter on Mount Tampon is an attorney for a technology company doing yoga at sunrise in translucent Lululemon pants
--Your smartphone works almost everywhere on Mount Tampon and G--gle has been all over it too so you can easily triple-check your location against your cartoonishly simple map and the frequent trail markings
--If somehow you manage to lose your cartoonishly simple map and your smartphone you can just ask one of the many, many rich people crawling all over the mountain at all times for directions, and while I never had to actually do that I'm sure eventually I'd have been able to cut through the haze of their smugness and extract actual helpful information from them.

So yeah, go ahead and launch your Kickstarter for your epic and consciousness-raising unicycle trip from Vancouver, BC to Machu Picchu, but this is how I roll: staying in a fancy town and humping Mount Tampon.  Basically, in the morning, I'd roll out among all the considerately-driven luxury motor vehicles and then head onto the fire roads, which looked like this:


And had views like this:


And then more steady climbing:

And more views:


And then I'd get closer to the top and start feeling good about myself:


Until I realized I was surrounded by middle-aged people in sweatpants who did this every morning before work:


Then I'd get to the top of the Tampon:


And finally I'd head back down again, past all the people climbing it on full-suspension mountain bikes who scowled at me with carefully-cultivated race faces when I waved to them.  (I don't give a shit about waving, but I do it when I'm visiting other places so the kinds of people who ride full-suspension bikes on fire roads know I mean well and that I don't plan to steal the trunk rack off their BMWs when I get to the bottom.)

This is not to say I didn't get "ambitious."  As much as I was enjoying the fire roads I knew I'd be remiss if I didn't do the big "Fred climb," and so one morning I went up Mount Tampon:


And then down the other side, where it was kind of bumpy, yet somehow I managed to survive, even with primitive inner tubes and without dick breaks or a gravel-specific bicycle:


Then eventually things got smoother:


And eventually I had a thrilling brush with raw, untamed nature in the form of this "newt crossing:"


Where, awesomely, one kid drew a newt that totally looked like a dong:


Give that kid an "A" for effort and an "X" for drawing a dong.

Incredibly, I survived the newt crossing (though I did have to stomp six or seven of the slimy little fuckers) and then made landfall, said goodbye to the dirt, and slipped into "Fred mode:"


I was now officially a roadie, and instead of getting scowled at by people on full-suspension mountain bikes I was getting scowled at by people straddling expensive crabon bicycles and swaddled in full Rapha.

The road took me up:


And then down:


And then it went up for like a really long time until I got to this intersection:


And then I was out of the trees but still going up, up, up:


(That's what they call a "ribbon of road" in cliché school.)

Where, in addition to the grades I had to cope with this spectacularly shitty view:


And then I stopped taking pictures because I had to focus on making the bike keep going, but eventually I made it to the top and then went back down the fire road and had a sandwich.

As I ate, I asked myself the inevitable question:

"I just climbed a beautiful mountain twice, once on dirt and once on pavement, in about the time it takes me to do the stupid shitty run to Piermont.  So why do I live in New York City again?"

But then, as always, I remembered the answer:



How could I leave all this bike culture?!?

Anyway, after enjoying myself both on the bike and off, it was time to go, and I cried as I packed up the old trusty bicycle cycling bicycle cycle:


I should point out that I didn't even bother unpacking the bike after returning from Australia, opening the case only to slip in a pair of cyclocross tires for the trip to Mount Tampon.  Now I'm back in New York City and the bike has survived all of this, requiring only the most minor adjustments.  (Sure, it's scratched to hell, but if your bike isn't scratched you're not using it right.)  At this point the bike has undertaken something like 20 or 30 flights and visited at least four countries (five if you count Portland as a separate country) and I have yet to pay an airline bicycle fee.  I'm sure I've thoroughly "jinxed" myself with all of this, but if you went ahead and bought yourself something stupid like that matching crabon cyclocross "pit bike" or that electronic shifting "upgrade" instead of getting yourself a dependable and versatile travel bike then I feel sorry for you and laugh at you, unless of course you never travel by air, in which case I hereby redact everything I just said.

And with that, I leave you with your sorrows or joys or indifference as the case may be, and I look forward to returning to my routine and my mediocre New York City-area bicycle rides.

I love you,


--Wildcat Rock Machine

PS:



141 comments:

streepo said...

Remember the panties

Anonymous said...

Lunch time podium

RANTWICK said...

podio? Welcome back, wildcat! You sure were missed. I hope you won't hate me now that I'm workin' fer old man Budnitz!.

PLUS FOUR said...

I cannot read.
ockofem33

Anonymous said...

It's weird to say I missed your style .. but I did.

Anonymous said...

je suis dans le premier dix

Synonymous said...

Tampon Top Ten.

babble on said...

BOOOOOOOBIES! Hooray! Welcome back, sunshine.

Er... just one thing, though. Who said ANYTHING about a unicycle?

mario copa wenie said...

top ten

mikeweb said...

Looks like a beautiful vacay, Snob.

Reminds me of Bar Harbor/ MDI...

3G said...

DEATH INJURY BLOOD AND PAIN MOHAWKS MOHAWKS WIN AGAIN

RANTWICK said...

Wow, man, that looked awesome. I am saddened by my own geogarphic stupidity. Despite clues that probably made your vacation spot clear to everyone else, I still don't know where you went.

mikeweb said...

Nice job streepo.

And chapeau to RANTWICK for hitting the podium with some self promotion. That may be a first.

balls™ said...

Some people say that the very first MTB's ever were ridden on Mt Tam.

Some don't.

It's one of those arguments that are as important as how many commas come after a period or the highly controversial boxers/briefs.

That was a no panties post.

Anonymous said...

Tep twonty fer sure. Yeah Cleveland!

Anonymous said...

Top XX !!

Glad you're back Mr. Snob.

RANTWICK said...

Why thank you mikeweb! When budnitz showed up on friday, knowing snob was returning today, it was a perfect storm for grabbin' attention.

I hope it doesn't seem shitty.

Anonymous said...

So glad youre back. Now i can stop reading fat cyclist.

Marcel Da Chump said...

Wildcat KOM Machine

wishiwasmerckx said...

Rantwick, I believe that the answer is Mt. Tamilpias, just outside of San Francisco, and the stomping grounds of ex-regular commentor Bikesgonewild.

babble on said...

Did you stop by and say hi to bikesgonewild?

mikeweb said...

Mt. Tampon-alpais.

Very nice. In photo 'Fire rd. #4', I went for an awesome ride around the peninsula to the left (Tiburon) with a certain Mr. BGW. Maybe you two crossed paths out there...

Comment deleted said...

So good to have you back with the exquisite Mt. Tampon tour, Snobby.

Thanks for including a picture of the place I used to step off the planet (briefly, before landing into a volleyball net on Stinson Beach).

RANTWICK said...

@merckx - Thanks for that. I have enough reasons to feel stupid without this extra one.

Anonymous said...

Marin county is really pretty, isn't it?

Comment deleted said...

Short, shameful confession: I ride a Marin Venezia.

Anonymous said...

Marin county is really pretty, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Never read Fat Cyclist, but I have to confess that I have been "Cheatin on yer", with Steve Tilford's blog.

DB said...

Um, Snob, while you were gone, we turned this into VibratorSnobNYC.
Maybe you didn't get the memo.

Comment deleted said...

Oh, look. I made a Marin Sandwich. (With extra sprouts!)

Comment deleted said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ge said...

We're all just relieved that you survived the ride without a gravel bike and made it back alive.

babble on said...

gotta go there ... hot, earthy mounds... tampons... cleaveland... america's vulva... and ... a digital girl in a digital world...

babble on said...

Lol! Great minds and fools and all that... nice timing, wiwm!

Anonymous said...

mt tamalpais!

crosspalms said...

Welcome back, maestro!

I just got back from vacation, too, also with bikes, but this was an organized tour (by VBT, along the Danube in Hungary and Slovakia), so no panniers, no hours in the saddle (longest ride was 47 miles) and no fredliness. Plus when we rode down a mountain they drove us to the top first. Pretty lazy, but no one complained. I have no travel bike (or gravel bike), so used one of theirs and survived OK.

Speaking of surviving, why is the bottle cage on your ride-up-the-mountain bike bereft of bottle? Did you die a horrible death of dehydration up there and bequeath the blog to your next of kin? Or were you hydrating and photographing simultaneously (a good trick, and I'd pay to see you do it if I had any Australian dollars) and that's why the bottle ain't there?

Isolation Helmet said...

Wildcat:

I live right off of Bolinas Road and missed you. Really tough riding out here in CA huh? Such horrible weather and all.

Anonymous said...

Too bad most of the Marin single track has been deemed off limits to bicycles by the hiking and horse people. They're slowly dying off though so one day everyone will be able to enjoy the trails on Mt.Tamalpais in the day light.

DB said...

Welcome back, Crosspalms.
Wondered where you were.

babble on said...

Um, Snob, honey? You don't have to read the art of manliness. You're already manly enough, with your 17 offspring.

DB said...

Oh, Crosspalms:
While you were gone, the Cubs and Sox were mathematically eliminated from the play offs by about 50 games.

Travis Meyer said...

Shazam! whats next?

Anonymous said...

Roadies are easy to tease and deserve it but I love the observation of the mtb riders. Love how my cross bike brings out their appalled scowls and comments like "Is that bike going to make it?" on a somewhat rutted fire road like Coastal or Bolinas Ridge. Even more fun when passing them on my skinny tire road bike going up Old Railroad grade. And Im slow and old! It's almost the same head shake as the pickup drivers.

babble on said...

cartoonishly simple = derp = babbles

balls™ said...

Now that WCRM is back, do we have to start typing with both hands again?

JB said...

Marin county is really pretty, isn't it?

bk jimmy said...

Not scary? What about the Tampon Strangler?

babble on said...

OMG OMG OMG you have to listen to THIS!

RoadQueen said...

Hey, nice vacation pics, Snob! Glad you had epic fun on your epic rides and made it back all in one piece.

Since you didn't mention it, I'm assuming that you felt good for your rides while you were there? Been wondering if the "Case Of The Mysterious Hives" ever reared its ugly head again.

Welcome Back!

Anonymous said...

WCRM was in the area as an emergency expert tactical advisor to Larry's catamaran and has many victories to prolong the Amerkas (ball)Cup.

EPIC BRTO

mikeweb said...

babble I had heard that.

Maybe CJ was the guy driving the car?

Regular guy said...

How about that Sir Wiggins guy, who said he was "relieved" to win the Tour of Britain?

"At the most, it's just about relief," Wiggins said at the finish. "It was only a 26-second lead so a crash outside of the final 3km... and all those little things. It was just a relief. From the moment I won the time trial though, I thought I could win the GC, but it wasn't ever really over."

Sounds to me like he's had enough of this crap.

RoadQueen said...

OH SHIT Babble, that's about the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!

Note to self: When approaching 80 years old, make sure to have a hard-backed copy of the Bible in the car at all times...

RoadQueen said...

Oh hey, streepo and Rantwick! Congrats on the podio along with the faceless second! XO XO XO

Velocodger said...

I'm glad ya enjoyed NorCal. Y'all come back real soon.

JB said...

Did you ride with Tom Ritchey?

That rocky road does look sketchy for skinny tires. What size were you running?

Elle in Boston said...

Maybe I'm an idiot, but how exactly do you travel by plane without having to pay extra for your bike?

recumbent conspiracy theorist said...

MTTA MPON
NEWT KILL
FRED MODE
EPIC RIDE

Welcome back Wildcat Globetrotter Machine!

BikeSnobNYC said...

Elle in Boston,

The bike comes apart, you put it in a small case, and just check it through like regular luggage.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

babble on said...

Some bikes are more take-apartable than others, and there are handy carry cases you can fit a well taken apart bicycle into which fit within standard luggage requirements.

hydncpi 1234

babble on said...

Lol! I am slow off the mark today.

At least the rain stopped... there's a sucker-hole in the clouds with my name written all over it.

Time for my happy place.

Sure glad yer back, snob.

Later, Peeps! xo

Yarpo said...

Funny. Here you were cycling some of my favorite haunts in Marin County, and I was sleeping in a tent like a bedouin in the Sierra Nevada in a place where all wheeled contraptions are banned.

Glad you had fun but if you spent more time amongst the Marinites I would expect a more sound thrashing of their peculiar folkways. Strangely enough, although the roadies there tend to be kitted out in pricey cycle clothing and fucka-spensive crabon biking cycles, they also tend to be friendly. Quite a contrast to their brethren here in the East Bay. Though not as well appointed, they are much, much, less friendly, especially on weekends when their inner asshole, trapped all week inside a cubicle, comes out to breathe Fred-fire on all opposing riders. Me? I always embrace my inner-and-exterior meh and just have a good time.

Time to go re-acquaint myself with my bici on this byoodiful day off, and Congrats to Streepo of panties fame, Anon 11:59am, and Rantwick!

Freddy Murcks said...

Babble - based on last week's discussion, I am pretty certain that going to your "happy place" involves a little quality time with the We Vibe. Remember though, now that Snob is back, this is a family-friendly blog. ;-)

crisedp 35

BamaPhred said...

Panties! Scranus! Recumbabe! The Snob is back, bringing sanity back to cycling.

Your venue looks awesome, and as for those pickle faced, smugness laden mtn bikers, may they learn to enjoy what they ride, and enjoy what others want to ride. It's all good.

Thanks for the kind words DB. My meds must have been kicking in that day.

Glad to know I wasn't the only one reading the Fat One, and the blogulations of Tilford Ear Notcher.

Anonymous said...

Dammit Snobs the stem on your take-apart gravel grinder is too long for Mt Tam.

How may times must we go through this?

Comment deleted said...

Accident witness sees some epic smiting with the holy book...

JB said...

I've got a Mt. Tam specific gravel mountain cycle. The tube thicknesses are carefully calibrated based on grain-size distribution tests of the sand-gravel-cobbles. The frame geometry takes advantage of the average grades and radii of the road curves and considers the affects of riding in proximity of many geologic faults.

I can't wait to ride it next year when I can afford a set wheels!

grog said...

I'm only here for the babe.
Thanks Snobbers, welcome home.

Billy said...

Elle in Boston, the Googleable keyword you want is couplers. Bicycles with couplers.

Billy said...

Not to be confused with bicycle coupling, which is when you and someone else chain up your bicycles facing different ways to the same post.

crosspalms said...

DB,
Thanks! Now I'm catching up on what I missed. You weren't kidding about VibratorSnob...

And I hope my sister doesn't read your comments -- she's still a Cubs fan.

BamaPhred said...

Bible wielding lady brings new meaning to

"For the zeal of thine house hath eaten me up;"

He is lucky, being in Texas, that he only got pepper sprayed, umbrella-ed, kicked, poked, Bible bashed, and cussed at.

I'm surprised that one of the ladies wasn't packin heat and filled him full of holes.

Then prayed over him, of course.

Anonymous said...

narcissist describes vacation

+

sycophants chime in with their uncritical approval

=

Facebook

CommieCanuck said...

Some bikes are more take-apartable than others, and there are handy carry cases you can fit a well taken apart bicycle into which fit within standard luggage requirements.

Steel is real. I just pack a hacksaw and a Hobart M1000 Tig/Mig welder. Welding healment optional.

Regular guy said...

Well put Anonymous@3:55, these post trip post responses are a bore. But better than the flood of allergy whines following a hive incident.

CommieCanuck said...

I used my Snobless time constructively, not like you assholes, to buy a HelmMate.

Secures your healment from thieves behind an impenetrable layer of thin polyester, and keeps your saddle dry*.

* but not waterproof.

Whatever, it's DANISH, which is the best of the pastries.It keeps your saddle from getting rained on, which is really important for my artisanal chinchilla and cashmere saddle.
One percenter...suck on it.

Inschweinerman said...

Bieksnob - You travelled with cyclocross specific tires for a fire road? Next you'll be packing gravel tires to go on holiday and before you know it you'll have a gravel-bike

Anonymous said...

Can someone please find a way to block or at least limit Babbles from the comments! Where the hell is CJ to provide the much needed balance when, as with today, she overdoes it? Do it, did it, done.

Gary Fisher said...

Stay the fuck off my mountain.

Anonymous said...

Could be worse.

We could continue with the developing True Confessions theme from last week.

Bless me Lob, for I have sinned. I have read from the Scroll of the Fat One, and wallowed in the blogulations of Tilford Ear Notcher.

I have departed from the true path, and lusted after the gravel bikeen, yea, even unto the purchase thereof.

I tried to find solace in Psych Ward by The Urges, but none was found.

Comment deleted said...

STFU, Anonymous.

Devlin McGrabbin said...

tits is close enough to panties

DB said...

One more week til Dirndl season.
Oktoberfest!

mikeweb said...

DB,

The Grand daddy has already started.

I was in the Ochsen/ Hofbrau tent years back and the Dirndls were amazing. At least from what I remember. I blacked out there for an hour or two.

Anonymous said...

Far out, Snobby!

Maybe I missed it, but you never told us you have a Lego bike that clips together. I never knew such exotic things even existed.

Surely there's weak points at the joins? And wouldn't they be more likely to catastrophically fail when you're hooning about on rough paths like Mt Tampon? What about the cabling, does that disconnect as well? Is it any better than simply breaking down a regular bike in the time honoured manner? Could you have a modular system, where, just for reasons of wackiness, you attach two disparate styles of bike to each other? Say an MTB suspension rear to a sleek sharp racing bike front? And are those cantilevered brakes? Can't you do anything like regular folk?

Anonymous said...

I don't believe any accident footage unless it comes from a Russian dashboard cam...

McFly said...

You went all the way to Californy and could not be bothered to include one picture of an EPIC BURRITO?

You ungrateful sumbitch.

Anonymous said...

@McFLy no epic burritos in Marin county.

Blog Drafter said...

Spirit Rock is so overambitiously pompous out there. And that British guy that runs it...I avoid the place. You're right to poke fun, Snob.

Anonymous said...

Tamponalpais!!

Dooth said...

What kind of bike blogger takes a cycling vacation instead of using his free time to save the world? Jeesh...for Anon 3:55

RoadQueen said...

Ya know, it seems like the anon posts on here used to be witty and playful.

Now they're a bunch of cowardly, hateful Debbie Downers.

Snob, I'd also like to know more about this travel bike. If you've gone over it previously, maybe throw the inquiring minds a bone and put up a link?

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I got yr Anon quote right here, Queenie...smooches! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAHT8rs2AZ0

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Anonymous said...

Trying to figure out your route. Pretty sure its up some fire road, railroad grade, 7 sisters, alpine dam, back out alpine dam to 7 sisters.

Pancakes ahoy!?

BikeSnobNYC said...

Anonymous 12:03am,

After Railroad Grade I went down Eldridge (the bumpy one in the pic) to Lake Lagunitas, then from there I took Sky Oaks Road to Bolinas Rd to Alpine Dam, then from there I went up Seven Sisters, then I went back down Railroad Grade, then I was tired and hungry and had a sandwich.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

mander said...

@ RoadQueen

Naw do you remember Anon 2:13 or whoever that was? Sad to say, downer anons are an established part of this blog.

McFly said...

You went up 7 sisters? I went down 2 sisters once. But not simultaneously. True story.

SIST RLUV

How can one be content(continent) with New York Shitty after grazing in the wide open spaces of and basking in the warm glow of the California sun?

semi serious cyclist said...

TravelersCheck for the win in Marin.

leroy said...

My dog informs me that Mr. WCRM has found a safe place to ride if I'm ever turned into a newt and I don't get better.

Honestly, I would have missed that.

RoadQueen said...

Anon @ 9:44 - Now THOSE kinds of Anon posts are fun! Thanks!

incessantlycommentingregular said...

not much, as usual.

Anonymous said...

Dear Snob:
I previously expressed my concern to you over your rampant use of the "F-Bomb" (otherwise known as the word FUCK) and you were kind enough to respond and sort of explain the reasons behind your rampage of fuckery.
I now see that you actually ended yesterday's blog with "I love you", and frankly, I am REALLY FUCKING CONCERNED.
My Aunt Tilly, who was a disgusting excuse for a human being, would routinely treat us like shit until she got all liquored up, at which time she would slobber on us with her rock and rye breath, and then tell us "she loved us all".
So, to make a long story short, is Rock and Rye the secret inspiration for the Bike Snob? Do you get drunk in a cool Williamsburg bar and head home to slobber on your 17 children, before spewing out your daily blog?
Just askin'
Sincerely,
M. Fuckwad Wankie

JB said...

RQ: Snob took that bike on his book tour gigs a couple of years (?) ago. There was a healthy write-up in there someplace, if I remember correctly.

Anonymous said...

It is my sincere hope and dream that one day, when I post a direct question to the snob, it gets answered by him personally in this comment section. On that day, my life will have meaning, and then all my time spent here pouring over each and every comment will be made worthwhile. That, and I will attain serious blog cred from the handful of other regs who share this same dream.

mander said...

Well, my dream is to author a carefully crafted downer anon post that proves i'm just as good as a beloved blogger.

BikeSnoobNYC said...

Anon @ 10:18am,

Go lick yourself, or otherwise make an attempt.

--Wildcat Rock Machine

RoadQueen said...

Thanks, JB. I'd started to go back through the archives, but there are a fuck-ton of them.

I think my curiosity is outdone by my laziness.

babble on said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH the troll came back the very next day... they thought he was a goner, but the troll came back... he wouldn't stay away!

anon@4:43? Hello? Did you forget that snob, who, by the way is the curator of this blog? Snob is really good at telling spamming commenters to fuck off. If he ever told me to fuck off, I would, unlike CJ, who is clearly hiding behind anon so he can continue to stir the pot.

A troll cannot change his spots.
My money is on you. You're CJ.
...
Just sayin

Comment deleted said...

It is the epitome of cowardice to criticize other commenters while posting under "Anonymous". GFYS.

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mark pirex said...

I heard so many things about DR OGALA. and every story has been so great. so here is my story, me and the father of my son has been off and on for 3 years its been a very stressful relationship. he cheated on me and I was very hurt, it was miserable for me so in returned I cheated because I wanted him to feel the pain but he never cares so we went apart, so he went back to his ex.i wanted him to leave her and let us come back together, I love him so much and I just want him to feel the same way feel for him, lucky for me DR OGALA was the one who brought my lover back to me, he is a good spell caster. his contact address is ogalalovespell@gmail.com.you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband

stacey castellie said...


I am from Canada, I have great joy in me as i am writing this testimony about the great man called Dr. Trust When my lover left me i never taught that i will be able to get him back after all he has put me through, But i am so happy that after the interference of Dr. Trust i was able to get my lover back after 24hours and i can proudly to say, that who ever need help in getting there lover back should contact Dr. Trust on these contact details below Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com for proper understanding of what i have just witness. And i promise that he will help you as he help me.

susan said...


i want to thank God for using DR. OKAYA as my source of savior after 6year of joblessness and my lover left me alone for 9 years,Have just been heart broken until i go in contact with dr. OKAYA after i saw a ladies testimony on how she was helped by this same dr. OKAYA,So i decided to get in contact with him and when i told him all my problems he laughed and said this is not a problem that everything will be ok in 3 days time.Exactly the 3rd day my ex lover called me i was shocked and what surprise me the most was that a company i applied for over 5 month called me and said i should resume work as soon as possible.Am so grateful to dr OKAYA if you wish in contacting him OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM or is cell number +2348078291904. He do cast the spell as following

(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) you need a divorce in your relationship
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women & men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband & wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) Herbal care
(10)if you want to win a lottery
Contact him today on: OKAYASPELLHELP@GMAIL.COM

Anonymous said...



After 10 years relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls friends several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But after l contacted Dr.okaya of spell cast temple he cast a love spell and after a day, my boyfriend started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr. okaya of okayaspellhelp@yahoo.com helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before

julianna said...

JULIANNA

life indeed is a misery and i thought i would never be happy
again after my boy friend left me in a relationship of 3 yrs but i was
wrong because dr okun of okuntemple@gmail.com made it so my friend in
uk got me introduced to this man through his email and i told him my
problem so he promise to help though i felt he was like the others that
almost milked me dry he demanded for my details and i gave them to him so
he ask me to provide him with the resources so i did dr okun casted the spell and 5
days later my ex called to say he was sorry that it was the devil's work i write this for the world to see as i promise okuntemple@gmail.com i am now married to him all thanks to Dr Okun my friends contact him now if you seriously need help because okun donot give room for
unseriousness

ABIGAIL JONES said...

My name is Abigail Jones i almost lost my husband as a result of my
stubbornness before i became lucky of seeing Dr okun of okuntemple@gmail.com online and order a reunion spell due to the testimonies of his good works publications to stop my divorce my husband was so keen to separate because he was seeing another woman but i couldn't let the lust of another woman over my husband to break my home so i did all that Dr okun asked me to do without missing anything after four days of the whole exercise my husband called to tell me that he was no longer going on with the divorce that he was really sorry for all the pain he has cost me so that i felt to also write a review to thank Dr okun of okuntemple@gmail.com for saving my home and for those also going through the same divorce saga to also reach to him he will help save your home as he saved mine he is really a kind and understanding spell caster you can contact him with his email: okuntemple@gmail.com

CHRISTINE said...

Christine .I never believe in spells and magic until I
experienced one sometime s ago and it really worked for me.I was in love
with this guy and he is in love with me too for 2years and we making
preparations to get married but to my surprise,his parents didn't want his
hand in the marriage cos of the religion difference.I was about loosing my
man to another lady under the influence of his parents until I met a spell
caster on net that claimed he can help me out.He helped me cast a very
strong spell that helped change his parents mind and i noticed also that my
man love for me has greatly increased.We are happily married now
.People with similar problems can contact the spell caster on
okuntemple@gmail.com

kess clara said...

Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony.My husband breakup with me 2 months ago after (10) years of marriage just because he met another woman in his working place and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web for help, i saw a post on how this spell caster Dr Trust on this email Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com@gmail.com,on how he have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply and explain my problems to him to his email and he cast a love spell for me which i use to get my husband back from the wicked woman who took him away from me and after 3 days my husband come back to me.I believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. Trust. His email: Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatepsellcast@yahoo.com

Frank Silver said...


HELLO i have read testimonies about this great spell caster called Dr. Ekpiku how he helped people to bring their lover back. so i decide to give him a try, i am here today to give my own testimony on how this great man brought my ex back within 48 hours for just to contact him. this girl has broke up with me over 6 weeks but she came back just within 48 hours that Dr Ekpiku said he will make her come back to me. just contact this man and he will bring your ex back here is his email address mail. Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com

benita moyes said...

THESE PEOPLE ARE SCAMS AND THEIR TESTIMONIES OF SPELL CASTERS MUST BE IGNORED.
Dr Malaika is the real spell caster. I tried all those people and
I was really scammed until one day I came crying to my friend asking to help me with my confusion. She later told me about Dr Malaika which my mind really urged me to give a try. She testified about how Dr Malaika
brought back her Ex-lover in less than 3 days and reversed the effect
of her lost womb, and at the end of her story she gave me Dr
Malaika's email address. I decided to give Dr Malaika a try though with doubt. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Malaika is really a gifted man and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... Come to think of it I didn't pay much and all I have to do is tell the world about this wonderful man. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr Malaika anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact odogwumalaika@gmail.com

prue holliwel said...

I want to testify of what a spell caster did for me and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy.I went off birth control then and did not have a period.my gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did.,but i did not have another one.we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg clomid for 5 months,we followed all doctors instructions but all to no avail.I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got 3 test when i was ovulating! So ever since that we been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to b negative! I really want a baby girl while my hubby want a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying So hard, What i can tell you is that its been so many years now and i still yet do not have my period??nobody to help because every body around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on us.no were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone from HIV AND AIDS,bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,help you win a VISA LOTTERY,losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your BELLY,I gave her a try and before i could no it Mama Isiabel rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love with my hubby,then i did,and after nine months i delivered a twins A BOY AND A GIRL. after all this , i said to my self that i wont just testify on line, but make the whole world see and hear of her.This spell caster name is Mama Isiabel. so many people have witness her wonderful work..She is nice, contact he on:mama4africanspell@gmail.com if you are in any predicament email her immediately without doubts•Thanks so very much!!

Mama Isiabel

Bekar joe said...

Hi My name is "BEKAR JOE" just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage.because i really love SONNIA so much that i can not even do without. I was married for 15years with lilian and 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy with us. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via (Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or ultimatespellcast@gmail.com) Don't give up just yet, the different between "Ordinary" & "Extra-Ordinary" is the "Extra" so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.call him +2348156885231

jessylynn harvey said...


Hello, My name is Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results. when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just 24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness. i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

jessylynn harvey said...


Hello, My name is Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results. when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just 24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness. i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

jessylynn harvey said...


Hello, My name is Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results. when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just 24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness. i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

jessylynn harvey said...


Hello, My name is Jessylynn harvey. i want to share to the whole world on how Dr Keke Odin the chief Priest of all the spell casters in India Helped me reunite my marriage. To cut the long story shot, after 2 years of break up with my Husband with no phone calls or email messages. i was so frustrated because i have contacted so many other spell casters with no results. when i read about Dr Keke Odin (The Chief Priest Of all the spell casters in India) on his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com so i decided to contact him for help. to my greatest surprise, in just 24 hours later my Husband called me and started begging for forgiveness. i am now a happy woman with a beautiful baby girl.all thanks to Dr Keke odin. You can contact Dr keke Odin On directly on his email at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com or contact him through his website at http://greatkekespelltemple01.webs.com. his help is assured and guaranteed once again email him directly at greatkekespelltemple@gmail.com

Angelina Tracia said...

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me.. My name is angelina tracia, and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband.so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visite drahmedspellcaster@gmail.com So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband, back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven {7} months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website drahmedspellcaster@gmail.com if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to the Dr ahmed for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again. his email drahmedspellcaster@gmail.com Thanks.. or call him on +2348147326843

Anonymous said...

BEWARE OF THESE SCAMS!!! DR MALAWI RACUM IS THE ONLY SPELL CASTER TO TRUST!( spellofsolutiontemple@yahoomail.com) will be of great help to you.
I never believed in spell casting but After 4 years of dating my hobby, he left me because I lost my womb . I felt like my life has come to an end, I almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to the spell caster called Dr Malawi whom i met online after my friend Tracy told me about how he helped her. She testified about how Dr Malawi brought back her Ex in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Malawi's email address. I decided to give Dr Malawi a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Malawi is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... Come to think of it I didn't pay much and all I have to do is send him little 250 dollars which he used in providing the materials used for the spell. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr malawi anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact spellofsolutiontemple@yahoomail.com

アップグレードウェブメール said...

BEWARE OF THESE SCAMS!!! DR Odudu IS THE ONLY SPELL CASTER TO TRUST! order100.100@aim.com or call +27743185702 will be of great help to you.

I never believed in spell casting but After 4 years of dating my hobby, he left me because I lost my womb . I felt like my life has come to an end, I almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to the spell caster called Dr Malawi whom i met online after my friend Tracy told me about how he helped her. She testified about how Dr Odudu brought back her Ex in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Malawi's email address. I decided to give Dr Odudu a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Odudu is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... Come to think of it I didn't pay much and all I have to do is send him little 250 dollars which he used in providing the materials used for the spell. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr Odudu anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here's his contact order100.100@aim.com or call +27743185702

helen ben said...

my name is HELEN BERNARD, i want to testify about a powerful spell caster that brought joy into my world
. i never thought i coud be this happy in marriage after so many heartbreaks and dissapointments. it all started after my fiancee engaeged me ,
out of nowhere hatred came , at first i thought he was merely acting up ,till it dawned on me that i was loosing my man to another woman
. some said he was possesed by some demons that dont want us to get married , others said he was in love with another woman . i was dummfounded and clueless
,i was loosing my man and i had no solutions ..
my joy came back when a friend of mine introduced me to a spell caster ,

i must say i have never met a man like this in my life ,
so genttle and warm and kindhearted . at first i doubted him because of the fake spell casters littered everywhere ,
but to my greatest surprise after casting the spell without collecting a dime from money my husband came back begging .
i can say now a happily married and am enjoying the best of marriage . its been 8 years of marriage and everyday i feel its my honey moon ..
for women going through heartbreak and disspointments i must tell you that there is hope ,dont despair just yet .
you can get that you man back
.
YOU CAN CONTACT DR ARUYA AT :draruyasolutionhome@gmail.com OR http://draruyasolutionhome.webs.com/

Marisa James said...

my name is Marisa James,i am From GERMANY I never knew I could be happy again cause my life turned in a mess by my ex boy friend named James, cause the love I had for him was incomparable, I loved him with all my heart but he dumped me just because of any other girl, ever since then I have never been my self cause I love James and think of him every seconds of my life so I cant just let him go like that cause I think he is the love of my life, so I decided to go on research on net on how to get lost lover back. At hot mail blog that was how I saw a lady who testified the great things which Dr.AYO did for her after reading I was convinced to give a try to Dr. AYO to see if he can help me also. So that was how I contacted him greatayosolutiontemple@gmail.com and told him my problem. So when I told him my problem he just told me not to worry that I will have James back within 48hours, I was so surprised, I he call me and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened,. I was so surprised and was short of words cause I could not believe what I was hearing. So that was how James came to me and now we are living happily than ever before. My friends out there who needs help I will advice you contact Dr. AYO for help.website http://getyourexloveback.webs.com/ You can reach him via: greatayosolutiontemple@gmail.com

Marisa James said...

my name is Marisa James,i am From GERMANY I never knew I could be happy again cause my life turned in a mess by my ex boy friend named James, cause the love I had for him was incomparable, I loved him with all my heart but he dumped me just because of any other girl, ever since then I have never been my self cause I love James and think of him every seconds of my life so I cant just let him go like that cause I think he is the love of my life, so I decided to go on research on net on how to get lost lover back. At hot mail blog that was how I saw a lady who testified the great things which Dr.AYO did for her after reading I was convinced to give a try to Dr. AYO to see if he can help me also. So that was how I contacted him greatayosolutiontemple@gmail.com and told him my problem. So when I told him my problem he just told me not to worry that I will have James back within 48hours, I was so surprised, I he call me and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened,. I was so surprised and was short of words cause I could not believe what I was hearing. So that was how James came to me and now we are living happily than ever before. My friends out there who needs help I will advice you contact Dr. AYO for help.website http://getyourexloveback.webs.com/ You can reach him via: greatayosolutiontemple@gmail.com..

Anonymous said...

Message: Reading Jim Kulzer article about a spell caster namely Odumodu was, i will say the best that ever happen to me this year based on the fact that i had a lot problem that i was trying to over come.I had problems at home which affected my work greatly. I was now always in a cross fire with my boss.I really don't want to tell story here so i guess i would just go strange to the point on what i have to say.My wife wanted out of our marriage for no just reason.We were married for four year and i think we were happy though we had no kids, it was her idea not to have any cos she wasn't ready to be a mom yet and i was okay with it i mean i didn't like the idea but i went along with it just to please her.It was always like that i mean she always get what she wants.All i wanted was to see her happy i could never do anything that will make her so unhappy.This was all i did wrong that is make her have it her way all the time. I mean that was the reason she gave during our therapy session.She wanted out of the marriage cos i was to nice. From what she said, i was the kind of man ever woman will die for but she wanted a real man to enforce his will no her meaning was i was to week a man for her.And that was the least of therapy session we had cos like she said we where wasting our life together and no amount of therapy was going to get us back together.I was a total mess thinking of how i was being dumped based on how much i loved my wife and how good i treated her,I really didn't know if she was ungrateful or just confused about what she wanted that is mid-life crisis but the bottom line is that she left me and who knows maybe for another man.I was still in love with her, she was the love of my life and i still wanted her to come back that was when i saw Eva-Yolanda article on Odumodu.When i contacted him he made me known that i will have to go through all the spell casting process.Like he said most people are too scared cos of trust issues.I had trust issues, but getting my wife back was my ulterior motive and from my experience with Odumodu i can tell you he is 100% truthful and honest with his customer.I was asked to get some material to prepare the spell and after which he sent me a package contain the spell and the rest just happen the way it was suppose to happen i got my wife back and she was my wife back again i mean she was not that woman who wanted a hard man she was woman i fell in love with who loved me cos i am me.If you want help or fell he can help contact him with his email address drodumoduspellcaster@gmail.com..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: drodumoduspellcaster@gmail.com

marisa johan said...

My name is maria johan from malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger.

Jessie Bender said...


My name is Jessie Bender from USA My boyfriend and I were happy as far as I could tell and I never thought that we would break up. When his cousin died in a tragic car accident he went back to Philippine for a week to be with his family. I could not go because I was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. He did not seem to be upset that I could not go so I let him be. The next thing that I know, he reconnected with an old friend from high school that he had a crush on years ago and they started to have an affair! I had no clue what was going on until a month after he came back from Philippine.He proceeded to see both her and I until I caught him testing her one night. I confronted him and he told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. I was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about a month of not speaking to him I became sad. I wanted him to tell me that he wanted to be with me and not her. I contacted Dr.ogala for a love spell and he totally helped me! he was able to get him to miss me to where he wanted to get back together again. He had a lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in general. He values our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr.ogala contact him through his email:Holyspellcast@gmail.com.Or Holyspellcast@yahoo.com.his web site http://holyspellcast.webs.com and you can also call him +2348072371282 THANKS.