Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Friends Don't Let Friends Ride Bikes

America!


Sure, we've got our problems.  We're sitting in eighth place on the Human Development Index, which makes us the Levi Leipheimer of First World countries.  Our sandwich restaurant chain spokespeople are of weak moral fiber.  And our next president is perplexed by bicycles.

Nevertheless, my fellow Americans, you can rest assured that the state of the union is strong.  See, it's still legal to dream here in America--and to dream big!  Sure, your chances of actually realizing your dream are minuscule compared to the odds that you'll bite it in a mass shooting, but that doesn't mean they don't come true for people every once in awhile.  Consider this story of a man who was liberated from his lowly bicycle (which you should read out loud in your best Casey Kasem voice):

A strong snowstorm on the night of Nov. 21 was keeping many Detroit-area residents indoors. 

But Tony Berard, 50, had to get to work. Late that night, he headed out for his night-shift job at the Meijer grocery store on his only mode of transportation: a bicycle. 

"One way usually takes me an hour and a half to two hours in the winter," he tells PEOPLE of his commute. 

So what happened next?  Did he punch someone in the nose for telling him to get a fat bike?  Nope, even better.  He got a lift from an enterprising car salesman:


Who took pity on his beardcicles and started a fundraising campaign for him:

Kapoor decided to set up a , titled "Keep Tony Warm." It ultimately raised about $20,000, which allowed Berard to buy a minivan from the dealership where Kapoor works. 

Now Tony has a motor vehicle like a real American:


Even more importantly, Kapoor has his commission.  Plus the dealership's got one less 2015 Town and Country on the lot, which helps clear the way for some new inventory.

See that?  The "sharing economy" really is going to save us.

Still, this is a crafty tactic even for a car salesman, so it's safe to assume Kapoor is now the frontrunner at his dealership for the 2016 Salesperson of the Year competition.  It's also likely that car salesman all over America are going to adopt this cunning technique and start picking up cyclists in order to turn them into charity cases and ultimately sell them cars--though I'm warning them right now to stay the hell away from this guy if they know what's good for them:


Firstly, he doesn't own a car because he doesn't want to own a car.

Secondly, he doesn't have a beard either, which means no beardcicles to exploit on your crowd funding page.

Given this, it's only a matter of time before some car salesman in search of bedraggled cyclists who appear to be in abject misery comes upon a Rapha photo shoot and thinks he's stumbled onto a gold mine:


("Wait, you mean you're doing this on purpose?"--Perplexed Car Salesman)

Speaking of gold mines, I'm sitting one one myself, and its filled with bicycle accessories I'm looking forward to trying but haven't as of yet.  For example, here's the Hiplok:


I leapt at the chance to try the Hiplok, but only because I assumed it was some kind of Jewish delicacy similar "kreplach."  So imagine my surprise when I found out it's a bike lock you wear around your waist:


Like many New York City cyclists I used to wear my chain lock around my waist, but what happened was I got older and they started pinching my flab and ripping out my stomach hair.  Also, there were all sorts of urban myths about people losing the keys and having to be freed from their locks with blowtorches, or the chain gouging people's midriffs in crashes.

Presumably the Hiplok's design eliminates all these risks:



Which means it exemplifies precisely the sort of millennial coddling that's eroding this country from within!

Just kidding, it looks fairly handy, and I'll let you know how it works just as soon as I have a chance to ride a fixie in the city or chain myself to a place of business as a form of protest.

Another item I recently received is this artisanal bell from Spurcycle:


That costs almost $50:


And that looks like some sort of steampunk helmet:


(AS/NZS approved!)

By all appearances it's the Chris King headset of bells, though whether you even need the Chris King headset of headsets is debatable.

Appropriately, as soon as my kids stop playing with it I plan to put it on my artisanal singlespeed (complete with Chris King headset and hubs), on which I already use a metallic resonating acoustical apparatus:


As soon as I do I'll let you know if there's a difference between a $10 ring and a $50 ring when it comes to politely telling runners to get the hell outta the way.

I've even got some new lights from Knog:


As I understand it, these are the Cat 6 racing model, and they've got a special setting you can use to blind your opponents before launching your attack.

Speaking of Cat 6 racing, a friend recently forwarded me this article about fixies and Brooklyn real estate developers:


Then he began to make a larger point, about bicycles. “Don’t underestimate the change in commutational patterns as cycling becomes more important.” When looking to identify neighborhoods for residential investment and development, Mack said, “we’re looking for places where there are bike lanes, but more importantly where people are riding fixed gear bikes. I know that sounds funny.” The crowd laughed. “But go to Portland, Oregon. Go to downtown Seattle, downtown Los Angeles. Go to the greater neighborhoods of San Francisco. You’re gonna see a disproportionate amount of fixed gear bikes. You may laugh, but commutation patterns by bicycle are changing the way that cities are developed.”

If you've recently looked around, wondered whether you were in Brooklyn, Portland, Seattle, or Los Angeles, were unable to tell, and ultimately decided, "Fuck it, I'll just go into that storefront with the reclaimed wood in it and order a $10 coffee," this would go a long way towards explaining why.

You've got to love the urban monoculture.

“Developing in Brooklyn, bicycle friendliness and appreciation—including for those very cool fixed gears that many people are passionate about—have clearly become an ingredient in a neighborhood’s appeal. Sometimes the fixed gear is a bellwether of sorts for us, but it’s part of a bigger picture.

Apparently that bigger picture is dated 2007.

Fortunately, New York City still does manage to cling to its uniquely gritty character in certain crucial ways.  For example, we don't take away killer drivers' licenses--even when (as a Twitterer pointed out) they DIDN'T HAVE A LICENSE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Victoria Nicodemus, a 30-year-old artist and curator, was shopping in Fort Greene with her boyfriend on December 6th when one Marlon Sewell drove his 2004 Suburban SUV onto the sidewalk in front of Habana Outpost on the corner of Fulton Street and South Portland Avenue. Sewell apparently swerved to avoid hitting a bus. Nicodemus was killed, and her boyfriend and another pedestrian were injured.

Sewell was arrested on the scene, and Brooklyn DA Ken Thompson ultimately charged him with third degree aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle and driving without a license, both misdemeanors.

Jesus Ass-Fucking Christ!  Who the hell was the judge, Groucho Marx?


JUDGE: "He killed someone on the sidewalk?  Take away his license!"

ATTORNEY: "But he hasn't got a license!"

JUDGE: "No license?  Well you'd better give it back to him then!"

As for the killer driver, he's got a great defense--Not that he needs it, since the judge seems determined to get him out there killing again as soon as possible:

The judge added that Sewell's car had been seized for the duration of an ongoing investigation into the crash, "negating" the necessity to suspend his license. Authorities are currently investigating Sewell's claim that he was lightheaded at the time of the crash because of a carbon monoxide leak inside the SUV.

Being sealed inside a car with your own flatulence and body odor will do that.

Also, the driver claims he was swerving to avoid hitting a bus when he drove onto the sidewalk and killed somebody, so it's only natural that the Transport Workers Union would conclude that the real menace is...pedestrians:


JANUARY 11 -- Pedestrians are a menace – to themselves. Not all the time, but more often than you might think. “Dangerous pedestrian choices,” including crossing the street against the signal, are the primary cause in 31% of the city’s pedestrian fatalities, according to a two-year study. Pedestrian actions are a contributing cause in another 16% of pedestrian fatalities, according to the city Department of Transportation study.

In other words, pedestrians have at least some culpability in nearly half - 47% - of the traffic accidents in the city that result in a pedestrian being killed.

So there it is.  The Transport Workers Union is officially trying to kill you.

This isn't a press release, it's a fucking murder confession written by a psychopath.

Pedestrian behavior is most problematic in Manhattan where sidewalks and streets are more crowded. It's the primary cause in 43% of pedestrian fatalities in the borough and a contributing cause in another 16% - more than half of the accidents, 56%. 

Yeah, no shit crowded sidewalks result in fatalities, especially when people keep driving their fucking cars onto them.

Those statistics, which were tucked inside the Vision Zero Pedestrian Safety Action Plan that Mayor de Blasio’s administration released last year, are striking. Yet, you never hear about them. Some safety crusaders only want to talk about the city not redesigning streets fast enough and cops not cracking down hard enough on drivers. In their eyes, anyone with a set of car keys is a Mad Max maniac.

It's a strange new city the Transport Workers Union is creating, in which pedestrian and cycling advocates are "safety crusaders," pedestrians are depraved lunatics, and bus drivers are merely hardworking New Yorkers doing their best to cull the herd.

As for drivers, it's true, they're not all Mad Max maniacs.

Some of them are just drooling, slack-jawed, "Ernest Goes To Camp"-style idiots.

85 comments:

JuanOffhue said...

Did I beat the bots?

JuanOffhue said...

And the primes start rolling in....

Unknown said...

SOME PRINCIPLES OF HISTORY
99. Think of history as being the sum of two components: an erratic component that consists of unpredictable events that follow no discernible pattern, and a regular component that consists of long-term historical trends. Here we are concerned with the long-term trends.

JuanOffhue said...

Boy Ted, I really look forward to reading 100 tomorrow.

What the heck kind of word is “commutational”? And where is everybody?

N/A said...

With a beard like that, that guy should have been riding a recumbent.
But... winter time. Do they make fat recumbents?


Hey Snobs, when are you getting your fatbike?

weasel said...

in There

clyde said...

Top 5?

clyde said...

Well I have to be left coast winner, right?

mikeweb said...

Actually, Jim Varney would be a very safe driver.

Mostly because he's been dead 15 years and wouldn't be able to press the gas pedal.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Snobbie off the front with an early attack

cdinvb said...

Do I look like some kind of iggoramus?

Dorothy RabinoBOT said...

The RabinoBOT is coal-powered and must be stoked first thing in the morning.

DB said...

Mikeweb!
Early post today. Luckily I was up early as I broke a rib falling on ice yesterday while taking the dog for a walk. Leroy: the dog is fine. Difficult sleeping last night. Please keep humorous comments to a minimum as it hurts to laugh.

Kamikaze Pedestrian said...


13rd!

1nd scranus

Jon Webb said...

Fixed gear bicycles are still big out here in the boonies (Pittsburgh). I saw one just the other day.
The Michigan guy's commute to work sounded pretty sweet -- an hour and a half each way on a bike -- too bad he didn't look more like "a weirdo or a serial killer" and had to give it up. That's why I wear the face mask.

dnk said...

Cops trolling for cyclists performing the "Idaho stop" along the First Ave bike path this morning. This morning, they were near 19th Street. Yesterday, at 29th Street.

I know it's a cliche, but....

Vision Zero = Zero Vision

JB said...

TL;DR(yet).

Ted K, you're close to losing the podium.

Hoghopper said...

Places with lots of fixie riders smell funny

Roille Figners said...

commutation - you keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. (It has to do with electric motors, or with abbreviating a criminal sentence... so strangely appropriate after all)

Bryan said...

Maybe it's just me...but when I was learning to drive my dad told me "If you are ever in a situation where you will hit a vehicle or hit a person, ALWAYS hit the vehicle." If the speed limit is 25 MPH, yeah the car is gonna get fucked up hitting a bus but you'll still be safe. Of course, if you don't have a license, you don't have insurance, and that's the scariest part of it all. Then it falls onto the victims to pay their own medical bills bc surely the 00 agent (not licensed to drive, but licensed to kill) doesn't have much money to sue for to pay any of you medical bills or copays that they caused. It's pretty fucking despicable.

I love new bike accessories! I hope you take a video of the artisanal bell so we can all hear what it dings like. For $50, I hope it summons a butler and footman to serve you an artisanal meal.

JLRB said...

New Year
New Swag
Same shitty drivers getting off the hook for murder because cars are 'merican

On a dingier note - I bought one of those overpriced bells but have not bothered to install it cause I am being a wimp about bikecycling in dark cold winter

Commutate the happy unicorn

Anonymous said...

US is really a funny country. A guy that commutes 1.5 hours per day in winter and can't even think of (or can't afford) installing mudguards on his bike, has no rear light and a hand-torch attached with a chain as front light.

And then, because he "can't afford" a car, they give him one, but is a gigantic one, which I guess in one year will require more money in insurance, tax, and maintenance that what a nice new bike would cost, all extras included. So much of a "dream" for this guy's finances...

Unknown said...

vsk said ...

dnk - I guess they're trying to get a jump on their quotas?

vsk

Spokey said...

my current bell is one i got for free a few years back when the bike league and bike maine cosponsored a whatever up there. i still think i paid too much for it.

i don't have any beardsickles but agree that biekening in the snow is a bad idea. too damn cold. unless we have one of those weird snows where the next morning it's 70 'merican. but then it's too wet so fuggit.

Unknown said...

vsk said ...


I'm designing a crabon frame with titatium fibres in the layup. I will call it the Szott M-59. They will come with the Chrysler Fred versions of the Dart and Challenger.

I outgrew my bike chain-lock belt years ago. Fuggetaboutit.

The best bell for the buck is a brass one. The single strike Crane is nice or the double action ones are really effective. However the best is a Ventura Tire Bell. Little wheel drives the sounding mechanism and it sounds like a really loud rotary dial phone bell.

Pedestrians do tend to like popping out in front of my direction of travel quite often. Usually shielding themselves from anything going on beyond their person with a black piece of glass that happens to make phone calls. Desafortunadamente, it does not hold up well to being smooshed by my unstoppable massiveness.
Hence the bell.

vsk




PotbellyJoe said...

Commutational pattern baldness is the lack of car traffic created by people getting on their bikes.

What TWU is really saying is that for NYC as a (w)hole, the majority of pedestrian deaths are caused by them not being wrapped in metal. Because by my stats it's 54% of the time that they had done nothing wrong and were crushed for the drivers' iniquities. Sure that drops to 44% in Manhattan, but that's still a huge percentage.

And let's be honest, with the way we see the courts handle shit, I bet driver fault should be higher if it wasn't for the fact that one witness is unable to testify upon their death.

dop said...

ART IS ANAL BELS

ASS NAZIS

Anonymous said...

Bells? Because we all love it when cars honk at us to announce a pass. Why shouldn't we do the same to the next slowest cohort? Ding-ding is somehow better than "death by a thousand on-your-lefts?"

P. Bateman said...

that bell does indeed look like a helmut - a hailmat to catch the yogurt from your purple headed yogart slinger.

steam punk contraception is what it is. and i think that bell rings to let her know your done and ready for a sandwich.

also, moving a 2015 town and country van is the real miracle here. know how hard that would be to sell? hard enough that they apparently only get "given" away in acts of crowdfunded charity.

Grump said...

Snobby, I was thinking that the carless bike rider should have been given a recumbent instead of a car. (the beard thing)
I also thought that Kreplach was some sort of Klingon dish. (what do I know?)
As for CK headsets. Mine just had a birthday. 10 years old (and he just started noticing girl headsets)

dnk said...

vsk -- Probably so (quotas). I do find it surprising that they're out in the cold.

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for your review of artisanal sranular cream at $200/bottle.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Beardsickle is a very clever guy. He knew that *nobody* would fund a fat bike for him, so he used the patsy car salesman to get him a free gas guzzling bus that he will promptly trade for a crabon fatbike - suckers!

theEel said...

weed.

ChamoisJuice said...

Hal from Bicycle Habitat broke that Hiplok in like 3 seconds with bolt cutters...
http://www.bicycling.com/bikes-gear/reviews/smash-lab-bike-locks-broken


Dood, what you seen what those retards at MIT have come up with as green transportation of the future? It combines features of Uber, CitiBike, and those Amazon drones. It is autonomous and designed to self drive in bike lanes! You just text it, and it comes and picks you up. Delivers packages in it's free time. It combines features of the recumbent, tricycle, electric bike, AND it folds :P
http://www.technologyreview.com/news/543156/your-urban-vehicle-of-the-future-might-be-an-electric-tricycle/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQhkj7ctEzw

prototype with noseless "buttcheek saddle

Anonymous said...

Kaczynski, where the hell were you yesterday?

ChamoisJuice said...

When did you get the baller wheelset? I always thought it was funny you repped budget Nashbar SS china hubs on that hand crafted, obscenely twee custom frame.

King hubs are the worst high end hubs I ever used. They are just super finicky, and always seem to have a little too much drag or a tiny bit of play. Also, the freehub is sensitive to freezing in cold weather. Gotta change the vicosity of the ring gear lube.

Their headset is a patently inferior design, relying on an O-ring to mate the upper race to the steerer tube, instead of licensing Dia-compe's superior wedge design patent. Chris King is jewelry for dentist types.

Have I mentioned recently how much I love Tinder? Been seeing this Polish lawyer. She's my age, but takes care of herself. Good figure, lovely skin. Always done up and wears too much perfume. She talks too much, but has interesting things to say, has traveled to 70 countries. She goes back to Warsaw on the 22nd. :0)

JB said...

CJ: you forgot to mention the tiller effect. -1

McFly said...

I just picked up a lottery ticket. Wonder what I could get a Town & Cuntry out the door for with cold hard cash?

If this van's-a-rockin' it's cuz of her noggin'.

N/A said...

I've been buying lotto tickets, too. When I win, I'm going to buy a Chris King headset and hubs. Then I'm going to throw them away, because I read on the internet that they are just jewelry for dentist types, and I'm certainly no dentist type.

Well, I go to the dentist. I wonder if that counts? Man, I'm friggin' confused. I'll just stick to Schwinns.

ChamoisJuice said...

JB,

Good point. I am remiss not to point out:

-antiquated short front center geometry, twitchy head angle, mile long chainstays. Bike snob paid extra for this fucked up handling
-boner stem for extra goofy tiller effect
-pinner bars with stupid ergo grips to really pull the front end together for ideal endo and front wheel knifing abilities

Anonymous said...

What's that old joke "If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk!"

cycle

JB said...

CJ: isn't the bike just a cross-country mountain bike that doesn't need an enduro-bro slack head angle and short stem (and 650B wheels and 1x11 and tubeless and boost hubs and)?

Who cares what grips he has? He can run Oakley 3s or Mushroom grips if he wants.

I know. I know. DFTT!

McFly said...

No Twitchy Head Angle in my Shaggin' Wagon. No sir. Not no way. Not no how.

McFly said...

After getting a pinhole flat last Thursday from our addition to the Rape Trail at the park I decided to make the jump to tubeless. I went with the redneck version of Gorilla Tape and stems cut from old tubes whose integrity was less than virtuous. Trying out that orange goop made by RideMore. TBD.

ken e. said...

someone has that casey kasem bit on his music player. best sample ever!!!

leroy said...

According to my dog, TWU Local 100 blocked his twitter account because it doesn't like dogs.

But I think it might have been something he said.

All I know is I commuted home to Brooklyn late-ish last night and no one offered me a car, real estate prospectus, beard defrosting system, or a role in a Premium Rush sequel.

In fairness, there may have been a kernel of truth in my dog's observation that last evening no one would have remarked that "leroy is so hot right now."

I'm sure he was commenting on the weather.

Anonymous said...

Steampunk bell helmet is some of the best photoshopping I've ever seen. Strong work, Snob.

Freddy Murcks said...

Fuck it! I am trolling for pity in hopes that strangers will buy me a car.

Schisthead said...

Well, if you're a Kasey fan, you may be a Negativland fan...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bI4JKM0LIo

Sick of this Shit said...

Fuck it! I hoping that CJ finally pisses off the wrong person and that they beat him to death.

Anonymous said...

Roille,

My thoughts exactly on the commutational.

Maybe we're witnessing the birth of a new "colorway". That's so exciting!

karma said...

CJ can only make you angry if you let him

leroy said...

Dear Mr. DB @9:21AM -- my dog says you should buy your dog something nice because he probably feels guilty. In the meantime, he suggests the two of you might enjoying watching "Misery" on Netflix while you recuperate.

Dear Mr. vsk @10:47 AM -- People often tell me my dog has brass bells. I used to think that was odd because he's riding with fixed gear. Now I realize it must be one of his Kickstarter projects.

Dear Mr. CJ - re the Polish lawyer whose profile you viewed on Tinder, my dog refers you to the Doyle & Debbie ditty "Harlequin Romance": "She was older then me, I think she said she had a law degree, I was working on my GED ...."

I'm not sure what he means, but he asked me to caution you about a "desperate dog dance."

dop said...

Whatever McFly's drinking, I'll have two.

Dorothy Rabinowitz said...

The RabinoDot is fist-powered and must be stroked first thing in the morning.

ajs.lax said...

Wow Wildcat. Im super depressed now.

grog said...

A perfect application of Marxist humor.

Daniel said...

Wildcat, Snob, RipTornsMugshot, etc.;

Speaking of Chris King, how goes the 'Chris King Headset Composite Index'? It's probably been 4 years since we have heard anything about it! INQUIRING INVESTORS WANT TO KNOW!

McFly said...

Tylenol 3 + Caffiene + Nicotene

mark ifi said...

it's called the rockbros bell, and it's less than fifteen dollars on aliexpress. spurcycle is just a label.

Anonymous said...

Hey @bikesnobnyc, did you know that the Weburbanists site is stealing your artwork?

Go to
http://weburbanist.com/2016/01/06/bike-autobahn-germanys-60-mile-highway-for-cyclists-only/

and scroll down.

Anonymous said...

I like balls as much as the next guy, but I prefer roller bearings in my headset.

dop said...

maybe I'll just roll a potato in vicodin.

Billy said...

I wanted a polished headset for my new bike, so I went with the Velo Orange instead of the Chris King because it's 1/3rd the price and doesn't say CHRIS KING on it a dozen times.

Anonymous said...

Hi Commentariat - I have a legit fender question. I am looking for a set of fenders that (a) looks reasonably stylish, (b) is wide enough for CX tires, and (c) won't break the bank. I have looked at the metal fenders on VeloOrange, but they are a little on the spendy side and I imagine that they may be noisy. Any suggestions?

ChamoisJuice said...

Leroy @2:31 You have posted that Harlequin Romance tune before... 1. I actually am edumacated. 2. I don't really have any internal conflict about successful women using me for a temporary fun fling. At this point, I have kinda given up on long term monogamy, so a relationship with an expiration date is PERFECT.

What makes Tinder so awesome is, you are just sitting there poopin' or whatever, looking at single ladies displaying their wares, life experiences, in 5 piktors, in your specified age and location range. Y or N.
If one of those ladies you swiped right on, swipes right on you, you get a match, notification sent to your phone, and then you can message them. Finish up a muddy solo mtb ride, check the phone, some classy eastern european gal thinks you are cute. Sitting around playing poker and drinking beers with the brosephs, ding, that barista you had a crush on BITD likes you.
This is truly wonderful technology, and I am extremely jealous of the youngsters in college these days. Meeting women while poopin, riding mountain bikes and playing poker is 100% better than the old fashioned way.

Roille Figners said...

I've been buying into the old "workplace lottery pool." Normally I don't play, because if Gern Blanston from Schenectady wins it, who cares. But if 14 people from my work were to win it without me (and quit the very next day of course), I might have to blow my brains out. So you could say I'm a defensive player.

CJ's first link above provides a nice chance for me to talk about Bicycleen's fuckannoying fixed header. Check it out, it really is quite cunty. And that's before the pop-up ads start ta poppin'. Talk about vertically stiff and interstitially insistent. Please turn off your ad blocker, yeah not bloody likely at this point, now is it, cunts! (I wish the internet allowed for audible jeering.)

But the content is worth this and much worse suffering because it's Bicycleen Magazine a.k.a. the sweet sweet nectar of the gods without which life would be too miserable an affair in which to even continue participating!

Anonymous said...

With just a few modifications that HIPLOK thing can double as a seat belt, which will soon be mandatory in New Zealand.

biek! Bieks! said...

Mr. Kapoor says, "Here! Take this car you can't afford to maintain!"

A smart grocery store worker sells that car and moves to where mass transit serves his work/home.

leroy said...

Dear Mr. CJ -- My dog read me your 4:13 PM comment and remarked "meeting women while pooping... ladies, how is this guy still single?"

I told him I had an idea, but he said he wasn't asking me.

And of course I've linked to "Harlequin Romance" before. The classics never go out of style.

(You're edumacated? Me too! Is that a coincidence or what? But the last time I mentioned my edumacation, my dog quoted the "they've all been knighted" scene from "The King's Speech.")

babble on said...

Heh heh... you are sublime, Leroy. :)

OMG CJ. You simply can't go around saying things like "Dood, what you seen what those retards at MIT have come up with..." and expect people to take you seriously. Well, they'd certainly take you as seriously narcissitic. But you know this. And speaking of books, my boys set me up with Hiveword a while ago. It's a great little app for writers. You should try it.

Oh man. Organize. I've been talking to you lot for a long time now. Thoze Z'z are infectious. Contagious, even.

dop... er... new recipe? I read somewhere that someone slipped on ice and broke a rib -ouch!!- was that you? or McFly? Whoever it was I hope you get well soon. Pain sucks. Heal up.

re: Mr Snobberdood's invitation yesterday not to leave a comment about being glutarded. Heh. sorry, but I'm not sorry: Macarons are gluten free, y'know. They are made with mmm nuts and eggs and have lots of energy in em and they don't taste like a fucking gluten free muffin. And they're even better with asorbic acid (that's vitamin c to yer body:) addded to mmm lemon buttercream. Mmmmmm. Just sayin' is all. When you try it like that, sugar is almost a drug it's so yum. Love dressed up a cookie, that, and fuel in your tank, too. mmmm :)

dop said...

Babble-

I'm al fine (ok, lot's of motrin for my knee). The potato/vicadin mixture was from Matt Damon in "The Martian" when his food was running low & he was starving.

McFly said...

Anon 4:13, Planet bike Hardcore fenders are pretty nice and only $40. They are super adjustable. Fit up to 45's. Cascadia's fit up to 35.

babble on said...

ah. And straight over my head - I am such a rube.

Good to see you here again, Mikeweb! I have to admit really enjoying the photojournal that is your Strava account. I sure would love to go for a BSNYC commentariat spin out there one day.

bad boy of the north said...

waiting for the _ _ _ _ to fall.be careful out there.

ChamoisJuice said...

I actually put a set of those alloy fenders on the hybrid I gave to that ginger poly sci prof. They look really sharp, but the hardware that mounts the stays to the fender has these big castlenuts that stick inside toward the tire, limiting clearance. 35c was a tight squeeze. They look really good, and are stiff/don't rattle. They are a royal pain to install.

Origen8 makes a knock off of the Velo oranges for $50. The velo orange is itself a knockoff of the hanjo fenders. I personally would either buck up for the authentic japanese ones, or if you're gonna be cheap, just get the $50 ones.

Babble,

Did you look at what those MIT dooders came up with? Self driving unmanned electric recumbent tricycle drones, roaming the bike lanes delivering chinese food or whatever. Although, the recumbent trike drone would prolly be programmed to go the correct direction in the bike lane, which is preferable to some Guatemalan salmoning on an e-bike. Maybe they are onto something... I mean, I do think the self driving car is coming soon, and that really I'd rather have robots driving than the average retard. It follows that it'd be better to have robots delivering the take out, too.

BamaPhred said...

Scranus

Spokey said...

and a happy scranus to you as well

ken e. said...

"...i hope you join us this saturday morning, and every saturday morning at our new time, 2... TWO!?!"

and paraphrasing,

"what kind of fucking idiot names their band a letter and a number!?!"

RIP Casey!

Tolled You So said...

I always strike the bell on the handlebars before hosing down and cleaing my bike, this makes me a ringer-washer.

Tomorrow's Ted, Today said...

SUCK IT TED!

100. FIRST PRINCIPLE. If a SMALL change is made that affects a long-term historical trend, then the effect of that change will almost always be transitory -- the trend will soon revert to its original state. (Example: A reform movement designed to clean up political corruption in a society rarely has more than a short-term effect; sooner or later the reformers relax and corruption creeps back in. The level of political corruption in a given society tends to remain constant, or to change only slowly with the evolution of the society. Normally, a political cleanup will be permanent only if accompanied by widespread social changes; a SMALL change in the society won't be enough.) If a small change in a long-term historical trend appears to be permanent, it is only because the change acts in the direction in which the trend is already moving, so that the trend is not altered by only pushed a step ahead.

Anonymous said...

expiration dates are for ass

dop said...

Gern Blanston of Schenectady? I grew up in Burnt Hills & never heard of him. ( the internees mention an Irish musician & some wild & crazy guy)

basith said...

thanks for give me a attention